Getting Tired of the Chase

I am exhausted. I have spent my morning rearranging payments and online shopping because I have not been paid on time again.

I seem to keep ending up in the same situation over and over again. Ground hog day or am I just insane? After looking up the definition of insanity (see below) I think that is the case and some changes need to be made.

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Albert Einstein

I have been doing a lot of thinking about my attitude towards money or more to the fact, not having enough money.  I think I might strangely deep down like the thrill of sorting out my money pickles. I get very creative about how I can avoid overdraft fees, spin yarns for customer service people and generally duck&dive to save myself. What I could do with that energy if I put it to good use?  The mind reels.

The most damning part of the story is, I have been doing it for years, financial self sabotage.  My most recent offence is going back to a job that I left a few years ago because I was not paid on time. It was always difficult to get the money that I was owed, when it was due.

Why did I go back to this not so great position? A few reasons:  I was flattered to be asked, I was told it was a nicer place to work now and it was the devil I knew, so it was not that hard a job to go back to.  See, I am insane by Einstein’s definition.  Sometimes we just get lazy and even though it might be more painful we jump in the car with the devil we know.

I am working hard to change that, and in that, I mean the way I think. I am embracing the positive; my glass is now half full not empty. I am going to try to think happily about what I do have and not about what I can not afford.

I have started the new thinking regime by being thankful everyday for what I do have. I make a list daily of what I would like in my life and what I am thankful for.  It already seems to be paying off – I have found money in the street, gotten extra when I have ordered something and I have only just begun on this positivity thing.

Have you tried to restructure your thinking? How did you get on? Leave me a comment as I am new to abundance thinking and positivity, I am originally a grumpy ex-New Yorker, you know.